


Poise & Rationality

by bmthevick



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, PatD, Pierce the Veil, Ryden - Fandom, Sleeping With Sirens, emo - Fandom, emo bands - Fandom
Genre: A Fever You Can't Sweat Out (Album), Angst, Boyfriends, BoyxBoy, Broadway, Death of a Bachelor (Album), Emo, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, M/M, Musicals, Pretty. Odd. Era, Too Weird To Live Too Rare To Die Era, Vices & Virtues (Album)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-07 01:43:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15898365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bmthevick/pseuds/bmthevick
Summary: New York, Broadway, 1968Due to the cold war and the Vietnam world, business in Broadway's not that easy, but that is still the place where everyone wants to go to forget about their problems.Brendon and Ryan are pretty successful actors, long time associates, but most importantly they are best friends.Music and show business tie their lives together more than they even believe.





	1. Introduction + The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Covergae

Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present a picturesque score of passing fantasy

It was a crisp April day and Brendon was heading towards the stationer’s shop around the corner to get a copy of the New York Times; he didn’t seem the type to read newspapers, but he hated not knowing what was going on in the world.  
The title of the headline was very clear: Martin Luther King’s assassination had shaken the whole country.*  
Brendon turned left and walked to the Studio 54; Ryan was already there as usual.  
Brendon took off his jacket and smiled at his associate and friend, who seemed sleepier than usual.

“ Rough night? “ asked Brendon.  
“ I woke up extra early just to double check everything, you never know… “ answered Ryan while rubbing his hazel eyes.

Brendon could easily understand his friend’s anxiety; they had been trying to perform on Broadway with their mmusical for a long time and they had finally made it, therefore everything had to be beyond perfect.  
Even the other actors and dancers were pretty nervous, but nothing that a cigarette or a glass of gin couldn’t fix.

“ Is that the Times? “ Ryan asked, even if he already knew the answer.  
“ Of course. “  
“ You’re always late because you feel the need to buy that stupid piece of paper. “ Ryan mocked Brendon.  
“ You know I hate not knowing what is going on in the world. “

Ryan smiled, his sweet face made him look like a teenager eventhough he was twentythree years old.  
He shooked his head and laughed a little.

“ Brendon, life’s here, not in that piece of paper. “  
“ Ryan Ross, you don’t know anything. “ replied Brendon while trying not to laugh.  
“ Instead… hurry up because there are lots of things to bring to the theatre. “ added Brendon.  
“ Yes, sir! “

\---

Despite performing for a couple of nights, the fear of making any kind of mistake didn’t seem to fade.  
Of course the “ Poise & Ratioanlity Musical “ wasn’t as succesful as other musicals, but seeing new people interested in their work made Ryan and Brendon tear up with joy, that’s why nothing could go wrong.  
Ryan had already put his costume on: grey pinstriped trousers, a white shirt, a colorful tie and a suit jacket that matched everything.  
Being the main male character of his musical really made him proud after working so hard to establish himself in the entertainment buisiness, especially after everything he had gone through.  
Ryan picked hiss guitar and started playing the first tune that came up to his mind just to call down a little; music had always had a therapeutic effect on him, most of all when he managed to write down all of his emotions that otherwise would have exploded.  
He entered Brendon’s dressing room without knocking to check if he was ready and smiled as soon as he saw his friend in a long red coat.  
Ryan remembered passing one hour trying to convince Brendon that the red coat was way better than the green one; it seemed like only yesterday, but one year had already passed.  
Brendon sighed again since his black bowtie just didn’t want to stay tied.

“ I got it. “ Ryan chuckled.

Brendon focused on Ryan’s fingers, slightly ruined due to years and years playing his guitar, then looked straight into his eyes.

“ Thank you. “  
“ No problem… are you ready? The theatre’s almost full tonight. “ Ryan was excited.  
“ Let the show begin then. “

Sit tight, I’m gonna need you to keep time, come one just snap snap snap your fingers for me

The music filled the room and even the spectators that had been waiting for a longer time forgot about their wait andwere excited to see the dancers on the stage.  
Brendon was exaactly in the middle of the stage and was singin the first song: it was some sort of request for attention in order to get the audicene’s eyes focused on them.  
The dancers took their place around Brendon, impeccable with every move.

Good good, now we’re making some progress, come on just tap tap tap your toes to the beat.

That clearly wasn’t an ordinary musical, but everyone needed a change in the Broadway business and most importantly everyone needed to be entertained during that dark time of war.

And I believe, this may call for a proper introduction and well, don’t you see? I’m the narrator this is just the prologue.  
Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen: we’re still so young, desperate for attention.  
I aim to be your eyes: trophy boys, trophy wives.

That was just the beginning.

\---

*4 April 1968: Martin Luther King was murdered by James Earl Ray.

 

ME SPACE

Hello everyone!  
First of all: thank you so much for reading this short prologue/first chapter(?) idk.  
I want to clarify that English is not my first language, so I apologize for all the mistakes you found in this chapter; I’m still learning and writing this fic will be a challenge to improve myself.  
Of course feel free to let me know my mistakes!

I hope you like this crazy idea as much as I do.

If you liked it please please please comment or just let me knwo anything you would like to :)

If someone would like to help me with the translation or idk just be my beta reader, that would be awesome!! Of course I’ll give you credit and idk anything else I can haha.

Thank you so much!  
Bye <3


	2. Pas De Cheval

Little did she know  
Couldn’t let me go  
Already a part of her

Ryan had never performed in front of such audience and unlike his character in the musical, who wasn’t afraid of anything, he felt a bit intimidated.  
He’s always been a bit cocky, but on stage he became somewhat vulnerable.  
Kevin, his character, was a rich stubborn and born lawyer, maybe even a bit cheeky.  
Both were cold on the outside and prepared to take everything they wanted.  
That was just Ryan’s defense against the worl: acting like you’re the “bad guy” was better than showing your weaknesses and your sadness.  
Kevin didn’t need any of that crap to win Audrey over, the other main character of the musical; not that Ryan had troubles with women, but he had never found the right one.  
Ryan smiled broadly and went on stage, carrying a briefcase and a newspaper.  
Also the dancers were wearing a suit and scenery showed a perfect law firm: after all Kevin was a very important lawyer.

So often do I meet  
People in between  
That just can’t get a hold of it

Ryan had met all kinds of people in 23 years, but just a few managed to understand him and really see the true Ryan.  
He knew he was a bit of a mess, complicated and peevish, but he was sure as hell he had a lot to offer.  
Brendon really knew him; Brendon could really see the true Ryan Ross.  
Ryan remembered seeing him by chance in University a few years ago and smiled at how fate had brought them together.  
Meeting or seeing someone at academic events, shows or performances could happen sometimes, but they had never got the chance to even say hi until they found each other sharing some notes for an exam, but ended up talking about everything and anything instead.

*FLASHBACK*

“ I’m performing in a small club on the 7th Street for now. I play covers mostly, but also original songs from time to time. I can barely make ends meet, but at least I’m doing what I love, so it’s ok. “ said Ryan.

Brendon looked at him with amazement: being able to performe in front of an audience as a job has always been his biggest dream and he often feared he couldn’t make it, but seeing people just like him being successful was encouraging.

“ Which club? I’d like to come and see you… if you don’t mind, of course. “ Brendon smiled.  
“ At the Green Gentleman and no problema t all! I’d love that. “

 

\---

Brendon entered the club a bit disorientated: he’d never been over there.  
He took his coat off and sat on a stool quite far from the small stage on the centre of the club so that nobody could see him.  
He ordered a glass of bourbon and stayed there in silence like everybody in the room, expect that he wasn’t drowning any sorrow in alcohol.  
The brown-haired guy he had met just a few days before, finally went on stage with a small acoustic guitar, took a deep breath and started playing Yesterday by The Beatles.  
He had a nice voice, but Brendon was captured by the way he was playing the his guitar; it seemed like his fingers were moving by themselves up and down the instrument.  
Brendon often found himself singing softly the songs he heard on the radio or in other bars, but he didn’t want to ruin anything that time.  
It was a simple and nice acoustic set, but that boy’s voice mixed with his amazing skills on the guitar really gave a special feeling to the audience.

\---

“Brendon, isn’t it?”

The boy winced at being called all of a sudden:  
He turned around to face whoever called him, despite knowing it already.

“Uhm yeah… Ryan, if I’m not mistaken.”  
“Exactly… you came in the end! I didn’t actually think so.” The brown-haired guy smiled genuinely.  
“A promise is always a promise… besides you’re so good at playing guitar.”

*END OF FLASHBACK*

So we’ll just sing it for them  
Ahhh  
Yeah, we’ll just sing it for them  
(Just can’t get a hold of it)  
So we’ll just sing it for them  
Ahhh  
Yeah, we’ll just sing it  
It’s the greatest thing that’s yet to have happened  
Imagine knwoing me  
It’s the greatest thing you’d ever imagine  
But you’ll nver know until you’re there  
No, you’ll never know until you’re there

The next scene of the musical took place in Kevin’s law firm.  
Since he was the boss there, he could show off kis leadership skills, but also his arrogance and ambition.  
Kevin was a strong and independent man, unlike the other main male character, James, played by Brendon: as the audience could already see from the first scenes.  
Ryan took his jacket off and threw it to a dancer dressed up as a secretary, who promptly caught it.  
Ryan smiled at the audience and began feeling a bit more at ease.

Slow. Leave walking to the world  
Give your feet a chance  
They’ll do all the thinking  
Toast, high until they find  
Less pathetic wine  
Until they get a better blend

Ryan had never been that good at dancing, that’s why he worked his butt off at University just to get decent grades, but considering where he was standing he would have done everything again.  
Writing and composing the Poise&Rationality musical hadn’t been easy, not even with Brendon’s help, but they did it in the end and also had a discrete success.  
It hadn’t always been a piece of cake, they hadn’t been short of arguments, sudden changing of mind and sometimes throwing in the towel seemed like the best option, but their hard work finally started to bear fruit and there was nothing more rewarding.  
Ryan felt truly happy and proud for one of the few times in his life; he felt free, like nothing could stop him.  
Just two years ago he graduated from University full of dreams and big plans and he never would have thought to go that far.  
It was hard at first: rejection and small plays couldn’t give him enough money to make a decent living.  
The only thing that could cheer him up besides his guitar was his friendship with Brendon.  
At some point they both decided to stop getting kinda drunk at bars to focus on something bigger.

 

*FLASHBACK*

“We could… I don’t know, write our own musical.” said a tipsy Ryan.

Brendon chuckled a little and took another sip of his bourbon.

“Do you have any strange idea in mind, Ross?” asked him, raising an eyebrow.  
“ Well yeah, maybe… but I’dl like some help.”  
“I still have one year and a half-“  
“Screw University! We both know you’re damned talented and I could never make it without my best friend.”  
“All right then.”

 

\---

 

Brendon began skipping more and more lessons: it wasn’t intentional at first, but he ended up quitting.  
Ryan’s flat floor was full of scrabbled balled up papers used to write lyrics or plots while Brendon’s was full of costumes and other papers; they coudln’t decide which was messier.  
Working super hard wasn’t very easy, but Brendon’s willpower always managed to encourage Ryan whenever he wanted to give in.  
The older one snorted, throwing away umpteenth piece of paper.

“Hey, let me have a look first.” Complained Brendon.  
“Nah, it’s horrible anyway.”  
“I’ll be the judge of that.” Replied him after picking up the sheet of paper.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

And we’ll just drink it for them  
ahhh  
Yeah we’ll just drink it for them  
(Until they get a better blend)  
So we’ll just drink it for them  
Ahhh  
Yeah we’ll just drink it

 

It was time to celebrate: Kevin had won another case.  
Some dancers were throwing confetti and streamers to the audience.  
Ryan went off stage to get ready for the next scene, while dancers and choristers were finishing the song.  
He went backstage and found Brendon smiling big.

“Autograohs later.” chuckled Ryan.  
“Pff, really?” laughed Brendon.  
“Go call Keltie instead, you’re up next.” he added later, still laughing a bit.  
“Yes, sir!”

It’s the gratest thing that’s yet to have happened  
Imagine knowing me  
It’s the greatest thing you’d ever imagine  
But you never know until yoi’re there  
No, you’ll never know until you’re there

 

*FLASHBACK*

The best moment of Ryan’s life was for sure when he was told that the Poise&Rationality musical will be performed at Broadway.  
After months of hard work, balled up paper on the floor, nervous breakdowns, sleepless nights, empty bottles of beer and big dreams Brendon and Ryan really did make it.  
Ryan remembered his sweaty and trembling hands while he was showing and explaining why his musical should be financed and be performed at Broadway to some random people in suits.  
He remembered the relief and the indescribable happiness he felt after his proposal had been approved.  
He rushed out of that grey room as fast as he could to give Brendon the amazing news and of course to hug him tight.

“Bren, we made it! We made it!” shouted Ryan with the biggest smile on his face.

The younger boy jerked up from his seat with his mouth wide open: he couldn’t even tell how he was feeling.  
Suddenly Ryan was hugging him so tight that he almost couldn’t breath.  
He was kinda shocked, since Ryan wasn’t the kind for hugs and such.  
Brendon had always expected to be rejected buti f so he could have gone back to University, right?  
But he felt so fucking happy.  
Ryan felt like his life was finally beginning, like he’d always been stuck in a bad dream and now he was finally waking up.

“We should celebrate.” Brendon smiled brightly.

Ryan didn’t reply, still filled with the dizzying emotions, but he like he was on top of the world.

*END OF FLASHBACK* 

 

It's the greatest thing that's yet to have happened  
Imagine knowing me  
It's the greatest thing you'd ever imagine  
But you'll never know until you're there  
No, you'll never know until you're there  
No, you'll never know until you're there

 

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting for so long!  
> I've been very busy with school and everything :/  
> I'm also very sorry cause I feel like this chapter is a bit short, but I promise the next one will be longer and better(?)  
> I'm already working on it so I think yuu won't have to wait for long.
> 
> Again I'm sorry for any mistake you found on the chapter, but English is not my first language so please if you find anything just tell me! It'll help me a lot.
> 
> Thank you for reading and voting the first chapter <3 I love you so so much  
> I'd love it if you could comment on here just to tell what you think about this ff so far or maybe you can guess the song I'll use for the next chapter haha
> 
> Well, thank you so much and...  
> See you!


End file.
